I didn’t get a diagnosis, I got a reputation. I was the one everybody leaned on, and I was very good at it.

For nineteen years I built a multi-million dollar real estate empire with my husband’s name on it. I put in my talent, my energy, my skills, my labour, my vision, my thirties and most of my forties.

I thought it was love. It was bondage with a wedding ring on it.

In the divorce I settled for two thirds less than what was mine, because I wanted to keep the peace. The truth is I was terrified of being the bad guy. I was anyway.

Four years later I met a man who I thought was the man of my dreams. I planned our wedding while he fucked his way around the world. He never married me. I stayed anyway, because at fifty I couldn’t face giving up seven years and starting again.

Being alone at my age felt like a death sentence. Loneliness wrapped in wrinkles, saggy tits and a dry hooch.

Two months after I found the balls to leave, he rang me from Brazil, from a sex workshop, with another woman. He wanted my advice.

So I did what I did best. I became the pole he leaned on. I sat on my kitchen counter and gave it to him for forty-five minutes, the way I always had.

Then I put the phone down, slid onto the floor, and stayed there for three days.

On the third day I heard myself say: Are you going to give it all up for HIM? Get the fuck up.

So I stood up.

I looked in the mirror and I cried at the woman I saw. Thin hair. Brown teeth. Skin, sin, and bones. Eyes so dim and full of pain that I wept for what I’d failed to see all those years. Myself.

What I did next is all it takes. It’s the small thing that makes the big change happen. I showered, called a friend, and went out for breakfast. That’s it. The whole shebang. A shower and an order of eggs benny, with a woman across the table who’d been there herself.

Fifty-one years old with nothing left but me, and for once I knew that was all I needed.

So I did for myself what I’d spent my whole life doing for them. I built my empire of self. That’s what I’m teaching you.

Fast forward to today. I own a house. I have a business I love. My health. A social life. Real relationships with my kids. Money in the bank that’s mine to do with as I please.

And the priceless part? The thing money can’t buy? I can look myself in the eye now and I love who and what I see.

Here’s the thing nobody told me. I’ve had ADHD all along and it was never working against me. It was doing exactly what it always does, amplifying whoever I believed I was.

For twenty-six years I believed I was somebody’s servant, so it turned that all the way up. Now it’s got the memo. It’s amplifying me.

I’m not managing it and I’m not medicating it into silence. I’m using it.

Four hundred women so far, and counting. Come and be next.